This will be a short but meaningful post before I hit the hay.

A good friend of mine told me today that he liked the blog but wasn't sure about the name, "Chasing God", as if God was running from us.  Now with the written word, especially on a facebook post, it's hard to hear the true tone of a comment.  Knowing him the way I do, I'm sure he was joking, or at the very least, not seriously putting me down.

Chasing God simply means this:  I want to be like David, "a man after God's own heart".  To me that verse doesn't mean that David took after God.  After all, David did some pretty wrong things.  Murder and adultery seem to come to mind.  What I feel that verse means is that David was after God's heart, he was pursuing it ... even chasing it.

Like David, I've made some bad decisions.  But also like David, I don't ever plan on quitting, or ending the pursuit.  May you begin, or continue to chase Him as well.  God bless.

"Brothers and sisters, I want you to know that the things that have happened to me have actually advanced the gospel."

Philippians 1:12, The Common English Bible

We all have bad things happen to us.  I don't think anyone is immune to pain and suffering and unjust actions directed at us.  Paul wasn't.  I'm not.  Be patient while I take a few minutes to tell you a story ...

April 8, 1977.  I was seven years old.  My older brother and I were at the American Bank and Trust three blocks from our house, sorting pennies and putting them in those odd red colored penny rolls.  We did this from time to time ... I don't know why actually.  Picture two kids sitting in a bank doing this.  Times were different back then I guess.  Anyway, I had to go home to use the bathroom.  So, I got on my Huffy, pedaled the three blocks only to be met at our back door by our babysitter with some horrible news.

Why she chose to tell me what she did will forever boggle my mind.  I was seven ... in the second grade ... probably learning to write my name in cursive.  The worst ... the absolute worst has happened and instead of letting my mother tell me, she did.  Who knows how I would have handled the same situation.  What she shared with me forever changed my family.  My oldest brother David was killed in a car accident in Florida while on Spring Break.

I immediately jumped back on my bike, rode to AB&T, ran through the door, and told John.  I don't know what happened to the pennies ... I guess it didn't matter at this point.  We both rode back home, and this is where it gets a little sketchy for me.  Living through something like this I can understand the power our mind has to block certain things out.

I remember walking into our house and hearing my mother crying.  It was a cry I'd never heard before.  She was holding my youngest brother, not even a year old, in her arms.  It almost seemed like she was afraid to let go.  My two uncles were there, and my aunt.  My dad, who had left us by that time, walked through the front door.  He never treated David that well, like the stereotypical step dad-step son relationship.  All I can remember about that is watching my two uncles - one a Marine (once a Marine always a Marine right? ... and one a former M.P. in the Army) escort him back out the door.  My grand parents showed up by this time.  In a matter of minutes it seemed like my mother's entire family was there.

I lost my brother.  My dad had left us, and shortly after that moved out of state somewhere.  He didn't contact me again until I was 17.  Because of the divorce we had to move, which caused me to change schools.  I also had to give up my puppy that I had only had for a month, because the apartment complex we moved to didn't allow pets.  Not too long after we moved in my bike was stolen from our porch.  I started the third grade at Colt Elementary School, not knowing anyone.  John was a bit more fortunate; he was able to start junior high, so he 'kept' all of his friends.  I was quiet and insecure to begin with, so the thought of going to a new school was petrifying.  When I finally was torn from my mother, crying uncontrollably, my teacher found me a desk.  Still red eyed and puffy cheeked, she had us all introduce ourselves.  When it came to my turn, I couldn't say my name.  From the time I started talking, I stuttered pretty bad.  One of the words I had the most trouble with was "Joe".  I tried, and tried, and patted my knee to create a rhythm, and kept trying for what seemed like and hour but was only a few seconds.  After not being able to get it out, a kid named Mike sitting next to me blurted out "What are you stupid?  You dont' even know your own name?"  Par for the course I guess.  It was a sad and tumultuous six months.

So that's part of my story.  

I know another couple who worked for years and years to build a business.  These two were the epitome of hard work.  They loved the Lord, prayed for His direction and help yet worked like it all depended on them.  If anyone deserved abundant success it was these two.  That abundance never materialized.  They eventually had to walk away from it; the wife had to re-enter the workforce; the husband had to find another occupation.  For as long as I've known these two, that was one of the most difficult and emotional situations they've had to endure.

I know another couple who were kicked out of a church for no reason.  Well, unless you call asking a question of the senior pastor in a staff meeting, and suggesting another way to do something a reason.  16 years of faithful, spirit led ministry came to an abrupt halt.  The pastor told them if they didn't leave town they wouldn't get their severance package.  That pastor and other blind sheep from the flock have spent the last 6 years trying to discredit this couple.  It just isn't right.

I don't know how my story will end.  Or how the stories of my friends mentioned above will end.  What I do know is through it all, we've remained faithful to our God.  Our testimonies about these and other events always result in Christ being preached.  His name is getting out, His faithfulness is being proclaimed.  Sure, we've been mad ... angry ... resentful ... disappointed ... hurt ... and wanting revenge ... but we've all stayed faithful, knowing that God doesn't waste a hurt.  Our pain doesn't go unnoticed.  Just like God used Paul's imprisonment to advance the Gospel, to get the name of Christ preached by whatever motives, God can use your pain to advance you; to advance your relationship with Him; to proclaim His name.

If you haven't yet, give Him a chance.  It's pretty easy ... it starts with "God, please help me".  God bless you.

"Dear friends, do you think you'll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it?"
James 2:14, The Message

Talk is cheap.  We've all heard that at one time or another in our lives.  We've heard it ... been told it ... lived it.  Has someone ever made a deal with you and then not lived up to it?  Has anyone ever promised you something and didn't follow through on delivering it?  Maybe you married someone who courted you well, said all the right words, but didn't follow through on the spousal side of the relationship.  If any of this has happened to you, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry you felt that hurt ... that pain ... that disappointment.  I too have experienced some of those things.

If someone claims to love you, but never shows it by actions or deeds, do they really love you?  I can tell my wife I love her every day, but if I don't actually show her by actions, or deeds, how long will she believe it?  There's an old saying that you can stand in your garage all day long, telling yourself that you're a car, but that doesn't mean you'll turn into one.  Likewise, you can tell someone every day that you love them, but unless you actually act on it, it won't take long for them to quit believing you.  Talk is cheap.

A few years ago I was chosen by my company to relocate just outside of Nashville, TN to work on a 5-10 year project.  I traveled to Nashville on several occasions (boy that killed me ... okay, so maybe it didn't) to meet with the people looking to invest in the project, to discuss the details.  The whole project hinged on this group of people following through on what they were telling me.  Nothing happened ... they were all talk.

I believe we have an obligation to God and everyone around us to act like a Christian, or Christ follower, or God chaser, if we profess to be one.  I believe we have an obligation to God and those we're here to take care of to act on our beliefs and claims and declarations and not just sit around waiting for God to drop it all in our lap.  On more than one occasion I've asked God ... believed God for something, and I know in my knower that He followed through on delivering it because I acted on my beliefs.  Do I "bat a thousand" in this part of my life?  Heck no, but I believe I'm better than I was last year, and that I'll continue to get better at acting on my beliefs.  Many times I did the wrong thing, and made mistakes, and hurt others, but I put my faith in action.  Thankfully God was there to clean up the mess. 

God has done so much for me; more than I can recall or remember.  Maybe He's done the same for you.  I don't think He's done with me.  I believe He has more for me to do, create, organize, and accomplish.  My trust is in Him; my faith lies in Him; the work lies with me; the outcome is in His hands.  I don't know about you, but I like those odds.

"A terrible beauty, O God, streams from your sanctuary.  It's Israel's strong God! He gives power and might to his people!  O you, his people—bless God!"
Psalm 68:35, The Message

"He gives power ...".  Power.  Dictionary dot com defines power as the " ability to do or act; capability of doing or accomplishing something."

"... and might".  Might.  Remember when we used to look things up in Websters?  Anyway, that same website defines might as "superior power or strength; force; power or ability to do or accomplish".

So God gives us the ability to do something ... He makes us capable of doing something ... and while He's at it, He gives us superior power and strength to accompany our ability.  Without looking up the original Hebrew or Greek, and relying only on the definitions above, I'd have to say that God gives us an above average ... like, way above average ... ability to do something.  Something.  Something?  What's that?

Let me tell you what I think it is ... or isn't.  Something to me describes a 'thing' or 'act' that's average, common, everyday ... maybe a step above that, but nothing spectacular.  Something as in "Honey, can you pick me up a Big Mac on the way home?  What do I want to go with it?  I don't know ... get me something ... anything."  To me that's something.  It creeps into the realm of a step above average when you see a football player make a great catch, as in "that catch was something else!".

So what's my point?  My point is this: From what I read, it sounds like God gives us superior power and ability to conquer the average, mundane, common problems in life.  In other words, He gives us the ability to accomplish things that we'd normally try to accomplish on our own.  As I've stated before, I write this for you, the reader, as well as for myself.  Tonight, this is definitely for me as much as anyone.

I've had to learn the hard way to rely on God to help with me everyday issues.  It's easy for us to rely on God when a loved one is diagnosed with cancer.  It's easy to rely on God when we experience any number of lifes tragic situations.  Why?  Because the last I checked, I can't cure cancer.  I can't perform heart surgery.  I can't get someone to quit drinking, or doing drugs, or over eating.  For those things, I need to rely on God.  What about the little things in life?  Like finding a parking spot at the mall, or saying the right thing to a friend who's discouraged, or buying a new car?  Do we need to involve God in stuff like that?  To be honest, I don't know.  I don't know if God cares that I drive a Camry.  What I do know is this ... the more I involve God in my everday life, the more i talk to God, the better I get to know God. 

My wife and I routinely pray for good parking spots.  We get one maybe 50% of the time.  Either way, that's one more time on that particular day that I talked with my Father.  Paul encourages us to "pray without ceasing".  To me, that means talk to God all day, about anything and everything.  Not because He needs you to.  Not to get things.  Talk to Him for the purpose of getting to know Him better.  God loves you ... somehow He even loves me.  He doesn't need to have a relationship with us, but He wants one.  Think about that and how special a concept that is. 

Involve God in the simple things.  He's given you and I the ability to do so.  Don't do it for yourself though ... do it because it will bless Him.  As usual, when I ask you to do something, you can know that I'm doing it too.  We're on this journey together.  God bless you.

It's Christmas morning.  Merry Christmas to you if you're reading this.  It's quiet in our house.  My wife and the dogs are still sleeping.  I woke up a few hours ago ... I couldn't fall back to sleep.  That's usually the case when I wake up, more so lately than usual.  When I wake up my mind starts racing, and it doesn't slow down.  Every day brings new thoughts, struggles, and challenges.  Some days I'm able to stand up to them.  Some days I can't.  The past few days seem to be the latter.  Eventually though, my emotions and feelings recede, and I'm able to stand back up.  If you've ever felt the same way, you're not alone.  If you haven't ... if you're one of those people who seem to sail through life unobstructed, don't take it for granted, and be patient with the ones who seem to have one too many holes in their sails.

^"If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help."
James 1:5, The Message

"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. "
James 1:5, New International Version

As a freshman at Michigan State University I had a humanities class with a professor who made an enormous impact on my life with one statement.  I can't remember the professor's name, what class it was, anything from the class, or what grade I got, but I remember what he told us within the first three minutes of the first class: "Never be afraid to admit ignorance".  Those words have been with me ever since, and have played an important role in many decisions I've made over the years.  More than anything, it was a principle I've followed throughout my professional career, where I learned it's better to admit ignorance than trying to have the answer for everything.

So God tells us to ask Him for help.  What do you think of that?  What do you think of asking for help period?  I've never been one to ask for help.  Don't get me wrong, I've had to ... I just didn't want to.  Asking for help typically comes after I've exhausted three or four ideas of my own.  It's just not the first thing I consider when an issue arises.  My knee jerk reaction is to try to fix it, solve it, conquer it, get through it ... on my own.

God however wants us ... me ... to act differently.  He wants me to rely on Him, for everything.  He wants me to come to Him with the major and minor problems in life.  He wants me to consult Him on the small and large decisions.  And when I encounter a situation that I'm just plain ignorant about, He wants me to ask Him for wisdom.

One of the reasons I don't like to ask for help is this: I don't like to admit that I can't do something.  Or that I failed.  Or even fell short.  I don't think anyone likes to admit those things.  Some people may be able to admit it easier than others, but I'm sure that no one likes to.  It's embarrassing.  It's humbling.  For some it may evoke even worse feelings.  I was in the second grade when I needed help with something.  I had forgotten a book at home, and the school had to call my dad to have him bring it to me.  Now I can't for the life of me think of a book that a second grader would have that would be so important that it had to be brought to the school, but I guess such a book exists.  So when my dad showed up with the book, my teacher took me out into the hallway to meet my dad, and take delivery of this oh-so-important book.  She then scolded me for being forgetful, and did her best to make me feel guilty for interrupting my dad's busy day because I had forgotten my book.  She succeeded.  I'm pretty sure I started crying a little bit.  I needed help ... I was 7 ... and instead of the teacher being gracious, and thanking my dad for bringing the book, she chose to knock me down a few rungs on the self-esteem ladder.  Even more amazing is the lack of response on my dad's part.  What an opportunity to stick up for your son, to intercede on his behalf.  He didn't ... not surpising though ... maybe I'll address that in another post.

If you're reading this and you don't really know much about God, follower or not, let me assure you of one thing: God won't knock you down.  He's not out to make you feel bad, guilty, or lesser of a person.  He gives (help) generously, without finding fault.  Isn't that wonderful?  He not only wants to help you ... He isn't just looking for ways to help you ... It isn't enough that He's ready 24/7 to help you ... but He's going to do it without condemning you.  He's going to help you, and encourage you at the same time.  He's not going to point out your mistakes, shortcomings, poor judgement, faults ... or even your ignorance.  He just wants to help.  It really is that simple.

2,010 years ago God sent to earth the ultimate Helper ... His son Jesus.  It's just after 12 am on Christmas day, the day that celebrates the birth of Jesus.  He was sent here for us, to not only help us, or to help us pray, but to pray and intercede on our behalf.  Jesus/God is the 'dad' who's going to stick up for your in the elementary school hallway of life.  He's going to protect you, and comfort you ... even if you forget things now and then.  God tells us to pray to him when we need help ... when we don't know what to do ... but we also have Jesus doing the same thing, sitting at God's right hand, praying on our behalf.  But then again, that's probably what we'd expect from a Savior.

Thank you Jesus for coming to earth; to save us and deliver us.  I pray that your people, including me, honor you properly today.  I pray that people who have walked away from you would turn back, and begin following you again.  I love you Jesus.  Happy birthday.

"Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear."
James 1:19, The Message

I've been enjoying The Message version of the Bible lately, and the verse above is another example of how plainly it breaks down the word of God.  It's a classic verse that you'd know in other versions as 'be slow to anger, slow to speak, and quick to listen'.


"Lead with your ears".  

The best communicators I know are the best listeners.  There have been countless times in my life where I needed to talk to someone ... I didn't need advice, or counsel, or a 5 step plan, or a new road map, or a strategy ... I just needed to talk.  Over the years I've been fortunate to have people in my life at various times who were wonderful listeners.  People who let me talk through the issue myself, and work through it on my own, but who were 'supportively' listening to me as I did.


"Follow up with your tongue".  

Every good conversation needs a talker too.  God knows how I live up to that statement.  On more than one occasion I've been told I talk too much, or too long, or don't get to the point quick enough.  Every once in a while I may agree with that assessment.  However, the world needs good communicators, and good story tellers, and as long as it does, I'm going to make myself available! (smile).  I'll do so because of this: on more than one occasion I've been able to make a difference in the life of another person by telling a story, or by talking with them, or by sharing in their struggle by sharing part of mine with them.  I don't know if I'm a big fan of sympathy, but I'm definitely a fan of empathy, and I'm quick to empathize with anyone who is dealing with a difficult situation or a challenging time in life, and equally as quick to let them know that they are not alone by sharing with them some of what I've gone through.


"Let anger straggle along in the rear".  

Uh oh.  How did this sentence make it into one of my blogs?  If you know me well, you know at times I can be angry.  As in mean angry.  Maybe even obnoxiously angry.  More times than not my anger is directed towards myself or a situation, and rarely at another person.  Regardless I know that I've fallen short many, many times in living up to the verse 'be angry but sin not'.


Thankfully James gives us the recipe for avoiding such times.  When something happens, or when something is said to you (you also means me) that requires a reaction, start by saying and doing nothing.  Just listen.  Listen to what the other person might be saying.  And listen completely ... to everything they are saying.  When you're done listening, then you're allowed to speak, but only respectful, productive, encouraging, edifying words.  Leave the angry, destructive, hurtful words behind.


If you haven't learned this yet, one day you will ... the most important part of life is what you're able to do for others.  Treasure your relationships.  Invest in them.  It's easy to make a difference in the life of another person ... just listen.

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
James 1:2-4, The Message 

This is one of those passages that, when I read it, I feel like doing one of two things: going directly to a book or passage that I'd rather read, or closing my Bible altogether and then go make breakfast.  Who really wants to consider challenges a gift?  Worse yet, who wants their spiritual weaknesses out 'into the open'?  I don't.  I've learned something though ... life may be about a lot of things, but it's not at all about what I want.

I've been writing this blog now for a few weeks.  I'm not sure how many people are reading it.  Maybe a few.  Maybe more than a few.  What I do know is that it gives me an outlet during the times when I'm supposed to be embracing the challenges life throws my way.  I know my life story isn't the worst I've heard.  I would also bet it isn't the best.  Over time, as I feel led, I'll share with you some of what I've gone through.  Not because I enjoy re-living it, or thinking about the tough times, but to hopefully encourage someone.  To let someone know that they aren't the only one waking up feeling discouraged, depressed, and defeated.  Today was one of those days ...

One of my life's more difficult challenges took place this past May ... May 19 at 11:00 am to be exact.  I was laid off from my job.  9 1/2 years at that firm, and a 16 year career came to a screeching halt that day.  I didn't know it at the time, but that's why God gives us hindsight.  I graduated from Michigan State University with a B.S. of Landscape Architecture, and have enjoyed designing and creating some wonderful projects over the years.  My job was simple: listen to what someone wanted, and find a way to make it a reality.  I solved problems.  I fixed things.  I laid plans, and followed them to achieve the desired result.  Some day's I'd be driving home wondering if I got any closer to that 'result' on that particular day, but the great thing about my job is that I always got there eventually.

Engineering and construction do not allow shortcuts.  Regardless of the project, I had to follow certain steps and design principles to "make it work".  I'm learning that life has no shortcuts as well.  There are some things you just have to go through ... regardless of how long it takes.  I've been laid off now for a little over seven months.  I've applied for positions at firms all over the United States with no success.  It's difficult to say the least, to wake up every day with nothing to do.  Sure, there are things to do in life, but you know what I mean ... it's tough.  The pressure is tough.  The stress is tough.  And as the verse states, my true colors have come out ... I don't like what I see.  I don't like the deficiencies ... I thought I was more 'mature' than I am.

Maybe that's why I'm going through this, to become more well-rounded and mature.  To become a little bit stronger, wiser, and able to better stand up to what life brings to my doorstep.  It sounds good in theory, but it doesn't make it any easier.  Canned responses never do.  Maybe that's why I never offer them to anyone.  I'd rather not say anything than say something as ignorant as "I guess that's life".  

God, forgive me for my weaknesses ... my faults ... and my attitude.  I hate days like this, and I'm tired of going through them.  Please help me to continue to learn that I can be victorious without feeling victorious.  Help to keep my emotions and feelings where they belong ... beneath Your love and promises.  And when I fail today ... when I screw up and forget what I've learned, or even what I'm proclaiming now ... forgive me again.  And again.  Regardless of what today brings, or how I feel, I know I always have You, and on that I can stand.  Amen.

^"Congenial conversation—what a pleasure!  The right word at the right time—beautiful!" Proverbs 15:23    The Message

I've been accused of being a talker.  I don't mind ... mainly because it's true.  However, I consider myself a selective talker.  What I mean is I don't mind talking when I want to.  God knows I've encountered people I'd rather not talk to.  Then I have some people in my life I enjoy talking to.  One in particular is a niece of mine.  I started calling her weekly when she was probably 10.  She just turned 22, and actually, before I started writing this, I was talking to her on the phone.  I love talking with her.  When she was 10, I'd do all the talking.  Now we have very enjoyable, deep and meaningful conversations.  Every time we talk she makes me smile or laugh, and proud to be her uncle.

Do you have someone like that in your life?  Someone who when you talk to them your day gets instantly better?  I hope you do.  I think we all need that.  We all have times where we need to hear or read the right word from someone we know.  From someone who cares about us and loves us.  From someone who really knows us.  Those are the folks that really know what to say to us, and isn't it refreshing when they do?

Jesus was pretty good at having the right word at the right time.  Think about the Samaritan woman at the well.  He changed her life with a three minute conversation.  He wasn't even supposed to be talking to her.  Jews didn't talk to Samaritans, but Jesus defied convention.  That's one of the reasons I love Him ... He was  rebel!  How about the official from the Kings court in Capernum?  He came to find Jesus to ask Him to heal his son who was dying.  Jesus looked at him and said "Your son lives."  Then there was the crippled man at the pool at the Sheep Gate.  Jesus told him to take up his mat and walk ... and he did.  The right words at the right time.

What are you saying to the people in your life?  Are you taking advantage of the opportunities that God is giving you?  I'm not ... at least not all of them.  I'm sure I miss opportunities every day, but at least I've gotten to the point where I'm conscious of trying.  As my mother would say, that's a far cry from where I used to be.  Next time you find your time with a few spare moments, call a friend.  Or write them a letter (remember what those are?  They were typically created using this ancient tool called a pen, which you'd use to write words on this ancient media called paper).  I guess if you have to, you could even text them or drop them an e-mail.  Call them up to say hello.  Tell them what they mean to you.  Go all out and even tell them you love them.  God will do the rest.

"To anyone who is serving today in music, you have an audience of one. It's him we worship. Be free."
M. Smith

The quote above was taken from the status of a friends facebook page.  It's not based on one single scripture, at least not one that I could find, but it is very scriptural.  God is who we worship, and we are to worship Him alone.  All throughout the Psalms we are encouraged, if not told, to worship God with singing and dancing; David worshiped God with "reckless abandon".  I'm not sure what that looks like exactly, but I bet David was 'free' with his worship.

My friend who wrote this has an amazing voice.  Quite honestly, I'm not sure I've heard one better.  Technically it's perfect, but it's not the technical perfection that leads those around him into the Holy of Holies.  It's his attitude towards worship.  My friend worships God because He's God, and he's worthy.  Not because he gets to be up on the stage at church.  Not because he wants God to do something or fix something for him.  He worships God because that is what we were created to do.

Our lives are meant to be an act of worship.  That should be comforting to those of you can't sing, or dance, or play an instrument, or run a sound board.  Every thing you do for someone (especially when they don't know you are doing it) is an act of worship towards God.  Every kind word you say, the way you perform on your job, how you love your spouse or kids or sister or dog ... everything we do can be an act of worship towards God ... if our attitude is right.  If we do it for Him, an audience of one, not for what others might say about us, or feel about us for doing it.

"Be free." 

Here's where I have to admit that this is tough for me.  I may sound like I have this down by what I've written so far.  I'm better than I used to be, that's for sure.  How I worship God has evolved over 21 years, but worship Him with my life?  I mean, I like doing things for others; I don't mind being kind to strangers; I want to be the salt and light of the earth ... but every once in a while it would be nice to be noticed.  I know, that's not an example of what I wrote above but it's how I feel at times. 

(Maybe this is a good time to admit something else: I write this blog for myself.  I'm glad that others have read it, but I do it so that I purposely study and meditate on scripture daily, not just read it.  So what I write often times is a reminder to myself of how I need to live.  If it helps someone else, that would bless me beyond measure.)

Anyway, I left off on being free.  I think I know my friend well enough to know what he meant by that.  He was saying to be yourself ... because that's good enough for God.  Be who you are ... because that's how God made you.  I would add this: be yourself, and let that be good enough for you.  You don't have to impress God.  Quite honestly, you can't.  He knows everything there is to know about you.  If you're like me however, it's nice to impress somebody now and then.  That's where we have to change ... where I have to change.  We don't have impress God because He loves us unconditionally.  We try to impress people but people have faults, so eventually we get let down.  You and I ... or maybe just 'I' ... need to stop playing the 'impress everyone' game ... we need to be free from it, and just be ourselves.  God loves us just the way we are. 

"And me?  I pray.  God, it's time for a break."
Psalm 69:13  The Message

I've been following Christ now for 21 years.  Most of my Bible reading in that 21 years has been spent in the book of Psalms.  I don't know if it's the musician in me, or the fact that I've always seemed to relate to David, the author of most of them, but what I've learned from them has always felt so relevant to my life.

In Psalm 69, David spends the first 12 verses explaining how despondent he feels, and describing what others are doing to him.  The Message version has some pretty vivid descriptions of these acts.  Then verse 13 comes along and changes the tone of the entire chapter.  For those who have read and studied about David, he endured some pretty difficult and challenging times.  Some of that was due to his own bad decision making.  Some of it was just and unfair luck of the draw.  He shares with us his secret in this passage ... his secret for being able to endure, and continue to move forward, in spite of what others are saying about him or doing to him. 

"I pray."

Do you see it?  Did it hit you like it hit me ... like a baseball bat to the head?  He prays.  It's such a simple word isn't it?  Four letters ... p - r - a - y.  It's simple but how often do you do it?  If you're anything like me, not often enough.  The Bible has a passage in the New Testament that says to pray without ceasing.  So like I was saying, I probably don't pray enough.

Let me simplify that two word, five letter sentence even more, because I know how the word 'pray' or 'prayer' can freak some people out.  If you don't believe me, go up to ten strangers and ask them if you can pray for them.  For the purpose of this discussion, lets replace the word 'pray' with another four letter word ... talk. 

Talking is easy.  Most of us do it every day, even if it's to ourselves.  My prayer life changed for the better when I realized that I just need to talk to God like I'd talk to any other friend.  I didn't have to say the right words, or go through the Pentecostal sermon of "6 Steps To Powerful Prayer" in order for God to hear my voice.  Besides, knowing me I'd forget two or three steps anyway, and where would that leave me?  But talking?  Anyone who knows me knows I can talk.  So God and I talk every day, some days more than others, but we talk every day.  I tell Him how I'm feeling, what's bothering me, about all things good and bad.  Some days I don't really know what to say so I just sit and listen.  That used to very tough for me, but I've learned the skill of resting, and waiting on Him.  I'm not great at it, but I'm much better at it than I used to be.

Talking with God has to be a two way conversation.  I'm convinced of that.  It can't be you showing up in a crisis situation, telling Him what you'll "never do again" if He gets you out of (fill in the blank).  Talking with God can't be you sharing a laundry list of requests, wants, and desires.  He already knows what you want.  He knows your thoughts.  He can complete your sentences ... like a spouse, or a best friend ... so talk to Him like you would your best friend.

There's a country song titled "Life Happened".  It tells the story of people meeting up at a high school reunion, sharing and reminiscing, only to find out that folks didn't do what others thought they'd do.  After each person told their story, the chorus, and story, would end with 'life happened'.  Maybe life has happened to you.  Maybe things haven't turned out like you thought they would.  Join the club.  It's an elite club though ... after all, King David is one of the founding members.  God wants to give you a break, but more than that He wants to be your friend.  If you've never talked to Him, start today.  He's longing to talk with you. 

The Perfect Life

I had the opportunity to share the 20 minute version of my testimony last night with a group of people taking part in a recovery program.  The stuff these people are dealing with ranges from alcohol and drug addiction, to co-dependency, to depression.  Any time I get the opportunity to tell anyone what God has done for me, I try to take it.  Over the years there have been times where I've been afraid to, because of what my someone might think or say.  I'd like to think that I've gotten over that.  Last night was another step towards doing so if I haven't.

While sharing I mentioned how I quit trying to live the perfect life a few years ago.  That statement drew quite a reaction from the 50 or so people I was talking to.  I think it did so because everyone can relate to that.  We all have tried to be 'perfect' ... we've tried to make ourselves look better ... or act better ... or do better ... based on our own perfection scale.  If you grew up like I did there were certain standards you were expected to maintain.  We've all been there at some point in our life.  And we've all failed.

Jesus lived the perfect life.  He's the only one who has succeeded.  I don't know how he did it.  I can barely go a few hours on some days without screwing up, and yet he lived a sinless life for 33 years.  Sure, he was God, I know that.  But he also faced all the same temptations that I face.

Here's the good news: Jesus did it all for you ... and me.  The Bible says we are made perfect "through Him."  God doesn't expect perfection from you.  He does, however, expect you to trust Him, to follow Him, to lean on Him during the tough times, and to acknowledge Him during the good times.  Don't worry about perfection.  You'll never attain it.  Ask Jesus into your heart, and just be the best you that you can be.  God bless you.

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.  Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?  When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?  The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ "

Matthew 25:35-40

When was the last time you helped someone?  What did it cost you?  You see, I feel there are different levels of help, just like there are different levels of love, or fear.  I love Moose Tracks ice cream, but not like I love my wife, or family.  I'm afraid if I keep eating Moose Tracks I'll gain weight, but that fear is nothing like the fear I had going into each of my surgeries.

Some may argue that helping people includes giving someone who is lost directions to the mall, or letting someone with their blinker on change lanes in front of you.  This is such a big deal in our society that if you do that, and don't get the 'thank you wave', you probably start talking to yourself (or maybe that's just me).  I'll agree, those are all one form of helping someone ... but what would it cost you to do those things?  20 seconds of time?  Sitting through one more red light?

We just celebrated Thanksgiving a few weeks ago.  Christmas is next.  If I were a betting man I'd say there is no other time where people feel more generous and willing to help others than the final five or six weeks of the calendar year.  So what do you have planned?  What can you do with your spouse, or kids, or siblings, or best friend to help someone?  A friend of mine and her husband stopped on the side of the road the other day to help a homeless woman.  She was hungry, and they gave her money to buy food.  As they drove off they saw the woman in their rear view mirror looking up ... I assume towards Heaven ... crying a thankful cry.  Another friend of mine volunteers her time at a local women's shelter.   

In seven days I'm teaming up with 15 volunteers to give a group of 60 homeless Veterans a Christmas party.  I was fortunate enough to be part of it last year, and couldn't wait to do it again this year.  Want to know what it cost for me to participate last year?  Sure, I spent a few dollars on some food.  My wife spent an hour making a dessert.  We invested three hours into the evening itself.  But I don't consider that part of the cost.  What it really cost ... what I really had to give up ... was a little self pity.  A little pride.  A little attention focused toward myself.  I had to consciously take my eyes off of myself, my problems, my bad day, my sore back, my lazy attitude, my lack of initiative and desire and interest, and focus on someone else.

I don't know how to put a value on pity, or pride, or problems.  I also don't know how to put a value on a teary eyed Veteran ... a man who served our country, and has no home to call his own ... giving my wife and I a hug (and I mean a HUG), thanking us, and inviting us back to have Christmas dinner with he and the guys.  Getting out of my comfort zone and serving those guys cost me something.  What I received back however was more than worth the investment.  After all, I got to serve Jesus dinner that night too. 

"For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."
John 3:17

John 3:16 may be the most quoted and most popular verse in the Bible, "for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life."  If we know that verse so well ... if it is quoted so often ... why do we still live our lives as though God is out to get us?  Oh ... you don't?  Maybe it's just me.

God loves me.  He loves you.  He proved that by sending Jesus, his son, to pardon us of our sins.  He did that so that we could spend eternity with Him.  He didn't want our sin to separate us from Him anymore.  Jesus paid the debt.  That is a truth I know beyond a shadow of a doubt.  As a former pastor of mine used to say, I know it in my 'knower'.  Even so, I've always found it easier to focus on my faults rather than the Faultless One that was sent on my behalf.  John shares something in verse 17 that, to me, is just as important as what he shared in verse 16.  I know how important it is that Jesus was sent to this earth, but if I still walk around hating myself, and condemning myself for doing things He's forgiven, them I'm missing out on the life He wants for me. 

For most of my life, I've lived one way: in performance mode.  I read this in a devotional the other day.  It's as true for me as it is for the author who penned it.  From the time I was a young boy, I've lived to make others like me.  I could spend hours telling you why, but that's not important.  You'll just have to trust me.  To a certain degree I think I still live that way.  Everyone wants to be liked right?  We all want friends.  We all want to be popular.  If we're not liked, then we're ... disliked.  Maybe even hated.  If we're not approved of then we're ... disapproved of.  Maybe misjudged.  Misunderstood.  That was me.  Every relationship that ever failed, or that I ever failed at, left me feeling like I wasn't good enough.  Misunderstood.  Misjudged.  Condemned to a life of failure and loneliness.

I hate to admit it, but at times I've treated my relationship with Jesus the same way.  When I don't live up to what He has for me, what He died for to give me, I feel ashamed ... disliked.  Thankfully John gave us verse 17, to remind us that Jesus didn't come here to condemn us, but to save us.  Not only from our sin, but maybe even from ourselves.

I've learned to sit still during those times of doubt, and loneliness.  I've learned to remind myself of the wife, family, and friends I have that love me for who I am ... even if I still do 'fail' from time to time.  It's isn't always easy to do that, and it's not always my first reaction, but I'm learning.

"Wait passionately for God, don't leave the path."
Psalm 37:34  The Message

I don't wait well.  I never have.  I remember waiting in lines as a kid ... I'm sure my mother remembers those fond times too.  Traffic lights, drive thru lanes, the Secretary of State ... I just don't like waiting.

"Wait passionately for God ...".  Really?  Passionately?  As in the whole time we're waiting we're telling ourselves how much we love waiting; we love just sitting here doing nothing, wasting ti...  Uh oh.  That almost slipped out.  But I think God already knew how I planned on completing that thought.  He knows because He knows all of our thoughts ... and all of our faults.  He even knows how some of us don't like to wait.

I've never been one to blame God for difficult times, or for when things don't quite go the way I want them to.  However I do know that God will allow things to happen to us, through us, and around us.  I believe in my life He does that to build my character, and to remind me that He is God, not me.

For most of the past two years a lot has happened in my life.  I've undergone two major back surgeries, numbers four and five in the "series", to deal with the degenerative disease that I have.  Number four was in May of 2009.  Number five was February 2, 2010.  I wasn't even healed from the fourth when I had to have the fifth.  Three days after returning to work from my fifth surgery I was let go from the company I had worked for for almost 10 years.  So for most of the past two years this high "D" (see previous blog) has had a lot of down time.  There were other things that happened too, but let's not dwell on the past too much.

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength ...", Isaiah 40:31.  This verse is often quoted as those 'who wait upon the Lord', and that's fine, because in this case, hope and wait mean the same thing.  Or at least that's what the handwritten note in my Bible says.

So what am I getting at?  There's at least one person reading this who is wishing I'd get to the point.  They're tired of ... waiting.  So am I.  I'm tired of waiting while I send out resume after resume.  I was really tired of waiting for my back to heal just so I could go have another surgery.  I'm so tired of waiting for God to tell me what His Jeremiah 29 'plans' are for me.  I know how you feel ... waiting ... waiting ... waiting.  Guess what?  You don't have a choice.  Neither do I.  The verse doesn't say "If you want to, wait for the Lord", or "If there is nothing else to do at the moment, wait for the Lord."  It simply says wait, and don't leave the path.  Keep doing what you know to do.  Don't look at it as time that's 'wasted'.  God is renewing your strength for the next chapter in your life, for your next assignment.  Don't change course, don't abandon your beliefs, don't walk away from God.  You may think about doing all that, but don't.  You can get angry with God.  I don't think that bothers Him, because at least you'll be talking to Him ... even if it is in your outdoor voice.

"Though I constantly take my life in my hands, I will not forget your law."
Psalm 119: 109

Years ago I took a personality profile test, using the popular "DiSC" method.  The letters represent four different personality types: Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Conscientiousness.  Everyone on the planet can be categorized by one or a combination of these four types.  Both times I took the test, my profile came back "DiC".  Go ahead ... joke all you want ... I've certainly had fun with that title ... I mean profile.

What those three letters mean in that particular order is that I'm primarily a dominant, take-charge person, who likes to have fun and influence others, and if there's time left in the day, will pay attention to details.

High "D" people get a bad rap.  So we get stuff done ... so what?  And yes, there may be a few casualties along the way.  They should have paid better attention, or just gotten out of the way.  After all, couldn't they see I had things to do?  I've got a life to live, and a busy one at that.  If somethings going to get done, I have to do it.

Or so I tell myself.

"Though I constantly take my life into my hands ..."  I guess I'm guilty of that aren't I?  In fact, I'm sure I try to take over the role God is supposed to play in my life every day.  David, who wrote this Psalm, did as well.  David probably was a high "D" personality.  He had to be to accomplish what he did.  At times, like you and I, he nudged God out of the driver's seat and took things into his own hands.  That's usually when things would take a turn for the worse.

"... I will not forget your law."  So I've been trying to figure out, what 'law' did he remember?  Was it "the law" in general?  Was it a specific law?  At the time he wrote this the Levitical priests had come up with hundreds of laws.  (This is where I have to remind you that I'm no priest, or pastor, or theologian.  Just a guy who loves Jesus).  I guess if I felt like it, I could research the original Greek and Hebrew meaning of the word law, as it was used in that sentence.  I don't think that's necessary.  Let's instead look to this law ... the big daddy of them all ... the first commandment.  "Thou shall have no other gods before me".

Even if his name is Joe.  Or Bill.  Or Mary.  Or Helen.  Or whatever your name is.

Put your life into God's hands.  It may not be easy, or natural, but it's what He wants from us.  When you do it, and it seems hard or awkward to let go of your life ... know that I'm doing the same, and probably struggling too.  We'll do it together.

"You are my lamp O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light."
2 Samuel 22:29

I'm basically a night owl.  Not as bad as I used to be a few years ago.  I went through two major back surgeries between May 2009 and February 2010.  The healing process and everything associated with it was not good for trying to maintain a normal sleep regimen.  Lately however I've been disciplining myself to go to bed before 11 pm, tired or not.

In order to not disturb my wife by turning on various lights between my recliner and our bed, I've learned to use my iPod as a flashlight.  It doesn't give off much light, but in a pitch black house, it seems extremely bright.  Bright enough to allow me to do what I need to do.

I've been learning that God can be that same kind of light.  While the learning process has been long, and very difficult at times, I'm glad to have gone through it.  David, who I quoted in the opening verse, figured it out as well ... that God can be his light during dark times.  He wrote in Psalm 119 that God's "word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path."  David seemed to like the lamp comparison.  So do I.  Those verses have helped me to get through the dark times.  The times where I don't have a lot of hope or faith in the future.  I've shared my thoughts on this with a few people, but I'll share them again here.

During the tough times in life my knee-jerk reaction is to handle them myself.  Sort of a "Joe-then-God" order of importance.  I learned so many times that's the wrong order.  I really began learning that over the past few years.  (Why oh why do we have to make things so difficult?)  When I began putting God first in my decision making, or when I was struggling with something and looked to Him for guidance, it helped to think about Him and His word being a 'lamp unto my feet'.  Think about Him walking beside you, down a pitch black path holding a flashlight, shining it on your feet.  Like me using my iPod to illuminate the floor of my living room, God's word can illuminate life's daily steps.  I believe, and I may be wrong, that the end of the verse regarding His word being a 'light unto our path' is past tense.  Or maybe that's just in my life.  You see, God doesn't always reveal to me the whole journey, but I've learned to talk to Him and listen for his leading step by step.  I believe He shows me the next step I'm supposed to take.  Maybe two at a time, but He's never laid out the whole journey to me up front.  He knows if He did, I'd rely on Him less.  When the journey is over, or assignment, or task, then I can look back and see how He lit the whole path for me ... one lamp shone step at a time.  I still mess up at times, but I'm learning to accept the "God-then-Joe" order in life.