For the past few months on and off I've been experiencing pain in my lower back and down both legs again. If you've read the past two blog posts you know it's been a struggle dealing with it and trying to figure things out. The second part of that, me trying to figure it out, is really a joke. I don't know much but I know a few things: God's ways and thoughts are so much higher than my own; God can heal me; or in the absence of healing, for whatever reason, God can give me the grace to get through this. Every step I take is painful. Sitting for more than an hour or so is painful. Quite honestly I feel emotionally numb about the whole thing, and just emotional in general. It's hard to focus on what I should be focusing on. I feel angry because I'm not supposed to be dealing with this. I really thought after my last surgery I was going to go back to something that resembled a 'normal' life. For the past few weeks or months, I've felt anything but normal.

I'm only going to post this on the Chasing God facebook page. This isn't going be shared on my page. My prayer is that whoever is supposed to read, reads it. What I'm asking you to read is this: as you pray, or when you pray, ask God to make clear, which of the two options I've been given should I pursue. There are pro's and con's to both, and I don't want to make the wrong decision. In general, the two options are to have another surgery (possibly two depending on what they find) or to manage the pain.

Thank you for your prayers and friendship.

Joe