Why is it so hard to trust God at times?  I know I say this a lot, but "maybe it's just me."  I've learned over the years that I'm different than most people in a lot of ways, so maybe it's true when it comes to trusting God as well.  Let me lay out the scenario for you ...

I've been seeking God's will for a particular part of my life for several months now.  What I'm asking from Him, or of Him, is an easy thing for him to bring about.  However, because it's such a huge part of my existence, and the decision I make has the potential to change my life, it's a pretty big deal for me.  Got is so far?  Big deal for me - not a big deal for God.  Life changing for me - blip on the radar of eternity for God.

So on Monday I'll be taking a step towards this new direction.  It may be a big deal or it may turn out to be nothing.  The outcome may be life changing or it may be day changing.  Here's where the trust issue comes in ... if God has the hairs on my head numbered then He obviously knows how important this decision is for me.  If that's the case, why is it so hard for me to trust that whatever happens will be part of His will for my life?  I've never been so submissive to God's guidance as I have over the past year.  I've never sought his will for my life the way I have over the past year.  I've never been so willing to yield to his leading as I have over the past year.  So if that's true, and I believe it is, why is it so hard to take this next step?  Why is it so hard to trust?

I don't know the answer.  I thought maybe if I talked it through I'd get it.  I will eventually ... I always do.

To end on a positive note, I'm so thankful to have a wife who is so supportive and patient as we walk through this journey together.  I have a feeling other guys wouldn't be so blessed and lucky as I am.  She's certainly had to deal with a lot this past year, and with every twist and turn she's been right there by my side, reassuring me with her confidence in me, and in our God.  I'm also thankful to have a family that has been there for me/us when we needed them, to support us in many different ways.  I'm thankful as well for the friends that God has put in my life.  The ones who send an encouraging message at just the right time.  The ones who support this blog, and my love of music by coming out to listen to me over and over ... and over.  Regardless of what happens to me in the coming days and weeks ... regardless of the direction my life takes ... I'm truly blessed.  God bless you all.