"My flesh and my heart may fail,
   but God is the strength of my heart
   and my portion forever."
Psalm 73: 26, NIV

I woke up this morning unsettled.  Maybe it was because I had to go to work.  It's not that I don't like working ... I rather enjoy what I do for a living.  I guess it's difficult to get excited about working 8 hours a week ... and it's impossible to make a living doing it.  Without going into all the details, it's hard to do what I do in, or for, 8 hours a week.  Success in what I do is based on long term relationships ... relationships that are built through consistent interaction and effort over weeks, months, or even years.  Aside from that, the uncertainty of my future seemed more uncertain today than it has in awhile.  I started thinking about what I was going to do ... what I have to do, to start making a living again.  Apply in other parts of the country?  Redefine myself?  Change careers?  Go back to school?  Doubt began to slowly creep in, and it was doing it's best to take over for the day.  Needless to say, for a moment, my flesh failed me this morning.

Okay, so maybe it was more than a moment.  Consequently, my heart decided to join the party.  After all, misery loves company.  Failed flesh.  Failed heart.

Hello God ... it's me again.  I'm not sure what to do.  I know ... I know ... I tried to be strong on my own again.  I'm sorry.  Let's look at the good news though ... I was wrapped up in relying on my own strength for only an hour or so.  It only took me an hour to realize that you're my strength and portion.  You are my strength.  Only You.  Since you're my strength and portion forever, I guess that means you'll be with me next time I fail too huh?  Next time ... and there will be a next time ... I'll do my best not to let it go on for so long.  Amen.