"Knowing what is right is like deep water in the heart;

   a wise person draws from the well within."

 Proverbs 20:5, The Message

I got an e-mail this morning from a former co-worker, and a dear friend.  She wrote to tell me that she was praying for my wife and I regarding my job situation and to congratulate me on getting one yesterday; that she was sorry to hear about how sick our dog Riley is; and to tell me that she reads Chasing God from time to time. She said something about me that ties in with today's verse very well.  Today may be a two-blog-post day.  Verses five and six both jumped off the page at me this morning.  They are closely related, but I want to write about them separately ... if you don't mind.

I remember listening to a pastor preaching a general sermon about life and how to live it.  He said something that will forever stick with me.  He said that we need to "focus on doing the next right thing."  If you're anything like me, you get caught up with trying to do everything right.  I could explain it away by giving you reason after reason, but it comes down to this: I grew up wanting to be liked.  In a crazy way, I think I'm somewhat like Michael Scott, the manager of the Scranton branch of Dunder-Mifflin on the hilarious show "The Office."  His main focus in life is to be liked by those around him, and he stops at nothing to make that happen.  That's how I spent a great deal of my life ... doing whatever I had to do to get people to like me.  I had to do everything right.

My friend (we'll call her Kay) told me something this morning that was very kind, and you know what, I'm not going to humbly brush it aside this time.  She said "Your loving heart for those around you is so big it is amazing."  It literally brought a tear to my eye.  You see, she knows me.  We worked in the same office for 9 1/2 years.  She has seen all sides of me, good and bad.  Yes, believe it or not, my bad, driven, get stuff done no matter what side of me would rear it's ugly head from time to time at work. Over the last several years Kay's been through hell and back herself ... she knows what it's like to hurt ... to be discouraged ... and to still want to do the right thing.  Not to be liked by anyone ... not to make friends ... not to make herself feel better about herself ... but just because it's the right thing to do.  My wife is the same way.  She hasn't had the easiest life either.  Parts of her childhood make mine look like a cakewalk, but yet she does the right thing ... just because.  They've both been a great example to me, and I'll be forever grateful for that.

I believe we can all have a loving heart for those around us.  If you don't feel that way now, don't worry, you can change.  I did.  My so called love for those around me used be shallow ... like the puddle on the ground next to the well.  Then one day I foolishly prayed this prayer: God, help me to love people like you do; help me to see people the way you see them.  I say foolishly because of what I had to go through to get to that point.  I had to be broken ... and humbled.  I had to allow others to love me for me, not for what I could do.  

In no way do I think I've arrived, I'm not even close to where I want to be, but I do think I've traveled deeper into the well.  God bless.