I composed last night's blog using my iPod.  It's so nice to be typing on an actual keyboard again.

So have things changed since last night?  Maybe I should ask has my attitude changed?  I suppose ... somewhat.  I spent an hour or so today surfing through job listings online.  That had to be one of the most depressing things I've done in awhile.  If my situation is any indication as to what's happening throughout the country, it's no wonder there is such turmoil between government, private business, and unions.  Knowing what I know about the prospective job market, or lack thereof, I'd fight for whatever job I had too ... just like the people I see on the news broadcasts.

I shared a verse with you all a few weeks back from James, chapter four, about "boasting about tomorrow."  I'm not sure how much I boasted about tomorrow before (I certainly don't now).  Knowing how I am, I'm sure I did at some point.  I do remember thinking to myself many times how I'd never get laid off or lose my job because I was too valuable, and I was one of the people who actually made my company money.  Regardless of the reasons (those explained to me and those I came up with on my own), I became a casualty of our present economy in mid-May, 2010.

Over the past 10 months I've had moments where I felt like was right in the center of God's will, and I've had moments where I couldn't spell the word 'will.'  I've had days where I was at total peace with my circumstances, and I've days that were nothing but a piece of ... Are you getting the picture yet?  I'm pretty sure what those experiences add up to is this thing called life.  Life.  Maybe now is a good time to insert one of those "old sayings" about life that we've all heard ... something like "life isn't about what happens to you, but about how you react to it."  How about Forest Gump's saying that "life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're going to get."  Then there's the famous bumper sticker "Lifes A B......."  For those who have been completing my sentences and have gotten offended at what you've come up with, I apologize.  I never claimed to be a religious person, or anywhere close to having this 'Christ following' figured out.  Don't worry though, God hasn't given up on me yet!

Maybe I'm just angry.  I'm sure if I was brought to trial today on charges of being angry, I could easily be convicted.  Ephesians 4:26 tells us that we can be angry, just don't sin in the process.  It goes on in verse 27 to tell us not to let the sun go down on our anger because it gives satan a foothold ... a way in to your mind, and your thoughts.  I'm afraid I've done both of those things between last night and this afternoon.  Last night I was angry before I went to bed ... a frustrated, ticked off sort of anger.  I suppose if I were a model Christian, I would have taken a moment to pray before I went to bed, asking God to ease my burdens, and to cover my anger and worry with his provisional love.  But I didn't.  I just stayed angry, and wrote a blog from my iPod complaining about how impatient I am, and how slow God is.  That led to falling asleep angry, which gave satan a foothold, which led to waking up angry, still in the frustrated, ticked off sort of way.  Thinking about it this morning led to more anger, and then the sin.  I think that's one of the reasons why at times, if I'm ticked off, I'll keep my mouth shut.  You see, I know me all too well ... if I'm mad about something AND I'm talking at the same time, something is going to come out that I'll later regret.  That's what happened this morning.

So now what?  Where do I go from here?  First off, I have to take a moment to ask God to forgive me for my actions, and my mouth, and my lack of belief and trust in His provision, and ... and ... and ... (gosh that can be a long list at times).  Aside from that I need to "run the race to win" ... which means I need to do everything I can do, pray everything I can pray, and continue to remind myself that God truly is in control.  God bless you all, and good night.


Note:
I wanted to take this time to do one more thing to help get my mind off my own circumstances ... I want to thank you all again for reading this blog and supporting me.  I have no idea what God has in store for this ministry, but I'm anxious to find out.  I certainly never thought me writing down my thoughts and other various ramblings would have developed into a ministry, but it has, and I'm thankful for that.  I'm thankful for having the opportunity to touch the lives of people I know, and people I don't know.  I love the fact that I can do it simply by being me.  Please pray for Chasing God, and the work it's doing around our city, state, country, and the world.  To date it's been viewed in 12 countries; many of those are countries where being a Christian isn't popular at all.  I don't know who is reading, but people are reading and I believe the message shared through the Chasing God devotional is making a difference.  That's probably why I had the battle last night and this morning ... satan would love nothing more than for me to give up.  I realize that he's a persistent enemy, but he really should know by now that I'm just as persistent and stubborn, not to mention, He who is in me is GREATER than he that is in the world ... and if God is for me, then who can be against me?  Satan knows his place in my life is under my feet.  Join me in prayer to make sure he stays there, and that whatever work God wants to do through me and my blog gets done.  That would mean more to me than I could ever explain.  Thank you so much.  ~ Joe